Friday, 22 April 2011

3am blues

For a large part of my life I have suffered from Insomnia and the unwanted skill of being awake through the night and being able to function normally through the day.
The worse thing is that this comes in cycles happens once or twice a week and is not consistent. It seems to come from no where, linger and then I have nights of good sleep. I know tonight I will get my usual 7 hours but maybe not Sunday night or another night in the week. I put a lot of it down to two things, beer and stress. Which is rather unfortunate as I like to have a beer on the odd occasion to help me relax and stop thinking. 
I used to think my lack of sleep was connected to not getting enough exercise but then I discovered that the more I did then the more I was awake at night.

The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to.  ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Some say that the reason for insomnia is some mighty worry or pressure of life that keeps us awake to remind us to sort it out. I think there is some truth in that although from my past and my past experience it also is not the case. 

What troubles me now?

To be honest, its too complicated to write down and involves thinking too much!!! I know after this has been written I will feel less awake which is good, Work, Expat living, the future, the now, and everything in the middle occupy my mind enough.

The temperature here at the moment is a factor, it is wildly hot currently, I dont use AC as it makes me dry out and have a bad throat and I am used to not sleeping with it. My apartment has fans but no AC and when I had AC it was never on when I slept so I know that wont necessarily help. Also in England when it happened, there was no AC there either.

Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.

Heres a thing. When I do feel sleepy which will be in about an hour as the sun starts to make an appearance, I shall return to some kind of sleep and wake after 9, and then feel like I have not slept at all. I used to have this feeling when I was working nights and would get home at 8am and then wake at 2pm dis-orientated and totally exhausted yet I would and this still happens, be ok within about an hour and then am just tired for the rest of the day.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.  W. C. Fields

Ironically living in Jakarta, I am astonished at the lack of sleep people get, with many getting by on 5 hours a night and then working 12 hours and not feeling tired. I suspect the coffee is something that keeps them going. 

But for now I will listen to the call to prayer and try once more to catch up on my ever distant sleep.

"O Sleep, O Gentle Sleep, Natures Soft Nurse, How Have I Frightend Thee, That Thou No More Wilt Weigh my Eye-Lids Down And Steep My Senses In Forgetfulness?"
— William Shakespeare
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